January 2012
36 posts
14 May 2004 @ 07:40 pm
title: Why ill end up as the corpse of an old maid eaten up by her thirteen cats
feeling: contemplative
listening to: “The End has Come” Ben Moody&Jason Miller
I’ll start with a memory from not too long ago which sort of disturbed me.we were at F’ concert, and in the crowd there was one of my friends ex-crushs. Whilst we were having fun, she suddenly told me...
29 April 2004 @ 6:31 am
we take the PSAE today. yuck. tests are stupid. I hate tests. they say that these standarized tests will not actually determine our lives. but I don’t believe them, whoever “them” may be. it’s probably just a large conspiracy, coordinated by John Aschcroft. yeah.
Age: 16
June 2003
There’s a world that’s really not too far
From the place you call your home,
Where the playful winds can race and stop
To stir an ocean’s purple foam.
Where the scaly birds crawl blindly
Across the molten liquid ground,
Where gophers gamble and game away
And the flying moose abound.
Where the sweetest smells are sickly
And the sugar-candy sour,
Where the sharpest point...
December 2001
i am everything you accuse me of being
a clock, endlessly ticking,
wearing away your nerves
a castle, tall against the sky,
blocking your hopes for a future
i am everywhere, everything you see
a ray of light, blinding you
a sweet puppy grown into a monstrous dog
speck of sand on an ocean shore
not important, yet part of something bigger
a meaningless entity in matters of the world
but...
13 April 2005 @ 07:25 pm
Title: I cant take it anymore…
Im at the end of my rope…i’m tired of suffering again and again, not knowing when to stop even when common sense tells me itll hurt me… Seriously, it’s horrible, i wanna be anywhere except here, anyone except me.
I’m so weak, i only have contempt for myself… i resent myself so much
And there’s only one thing...
13 December 2003
tears wet her eyes
and she’s about to cry and says she just wants to die all she wants you to say is it’s okay and it’ll all be over any day just wait and see for the moments in between
Age: 14
I can't make it on my own
Current mood: crying Current music: ben franklin’s kite - SoCo
i have never been so terrified in my entire life. i thought we left all this behind us in chicago. i drove 13 hours thinking i had a fresh start. i cant stop the tears from coming now, and i realized i have no one left to turn too. i gave up everything for you, and now you’re saying that we’re headed two different...
Currently Playing: North - Something Corporate
sometimes i drive on the abandoned streets of new neighborhoods too fast just to feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins, the blood rushing to my head, and the heartbeat screaming from my chest. to feel the danger and uncertainty of every turn, every corner. to discover a new path everytime. in other words, to feel the way i feel when i’m...
06 December 2004 @ 07:19 pm
title: wow. kinda sad.
yeah, ive never had that much attention from so many male human beings for a while.
First this mornin, Senior passed a brochure around for “undegraduate business schools” and asked me with a smile “you wanna go to a business school, right?”=>meaning he knows stuff from my life and remembers…not like last year when he must have asked me...
24 August 2005 @ 05:28 pm
Title: 15 days til college
Current mood: random
Current music: “Misty Morning” by Bob Marley and the Wailers
And 12 days til i pass (or fail, more likely) my driving license…
Am home, enjoying just sitting and doing nothing… Listening to “No Woman, no cry”… i’m passing a reggae phase, ever since I came back from vacation… it’s already...
15 December 2003
i’m sick and tired of scribbling your name
on a crumpled paper napkin, six days old with a ketchup stain i am sick and tired of being nothing but a name on a first-term class register you have torn up on your backpack so you can draw lazy emo hearts around the wrong girl’s name i’m sick of being lonely and these words are not the same without you here beside me let me explain...
16 November 2004 @ 05:42 pm
title: falalalala
feeling: ok
listening to: nuthin
lol, i like my background pic so much:D POCOOOOOOH
aprt from that, summerboy sent me a text sunday “nite”(aka 8pm) but it he still didnt answer to my answer. So he just sucks. Tough.
Basically, Po wants to have a party either this saturday or the next. well, i knwo perfectly that i cant this week, cuz i already went out this...
10 September 2004 @ 07:09 pm
Title: gah.
Current mood: frustrated
Current music: “Dos Dias en la Vida” Jarabe de Palo
ok, i sorta forgot to mention that school wuz back again.sigh.i sort of hadnt time to really think about it becuz of the other idiot, but i havent had any news of him for i dunno how much time so im guessin he IS just like the others, n he didnt give a damn, its just my mind making up stuff...
2004 @ 8:54 pm
title: “no foolish dream to make me cry”
Alright, I have a semi-infatuation. Except it’s not an “infatuation” anymore. I think I like him, no matter how cheesy that sounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel a bit pathetic, because I don’t really know him. I’m going to try to talk to him — according to Jessika, that is STEP NUMERO UNO! — but it...
11 September 2004 @ 1:47am
Wouldn’t you say it’s a sign that our hands fit perfectly I look at my hands, they miss you more than I do They search my finger tips and sigh I miss you like hell
26 February 2005 @ 04:09 pm
Title: Black Nail Polish
What a shame
What a sham
For the liar that I am
All the happy days I wrote
Were just figments of my thoughts
All the hard days that I claimed
Seem to come, again, again.
To forget my “nevermores”
I put black nail polish on my sores
I spurt the ink that’s in my veins
To forget my heavy chains.
i listen to my sorrow
And then I try to write her
...
6 November 2004 @ 9:43pm
title: well, I’m alive… now I know it
I haven’t talked to him today. So much has been wrong lately. I was hoping to bring it up tonight… I was sure he would be on, how could he not be? There’s no way play rehearsal lasted from 11:30 AM - 10 PM and in the offchance he was on when I was mowing the lawn or watching TV or sleeping and not working on this stupid paper,...
21 November 2004 @ 11:12 pm
i cry every night what the fuck
Current Music: the postal service
30 April 2004 @ 07:45 pm
title:guys and me… the improbable connection
feeling:dreamy/reflective
listening to:“U dont know my name” Alicia keys on mtv
yeah, cuz ive made sum allusions to guys throughout the journal, but i didnt have yet the occasion to explicit my sadly desert sentimental life. Now, i permit my friends to skip this entry becuz they know all about it :) but if sum ppl actually fall...
07 October 2004 @ 06:43 pm
Title: updatiiiiing
Current mood: sick
Current music: “My Lane” Spireholeblues(really cool)
just becuz i havent written anything special for a loooooong time.
ok, well, i guess im over summerboy. I talked to him two weeks ago and he had virtually NOTHING to say. which pissed me off SO MUCH :D
and i didnt get to talk to him after becuz last weekend i wuz officially at marys...
28 October 2004 @ 07:59pm
title: you can’t see me now
mood: scared
I’m really shy. And worse than just being shy, I hate that I am shy. Sometimes I’m really the opposite of shy but I’m never like that when it actually matters. It seems like I can’t find a good medium to be at. I’m either really quiet and don’t interact with people (i.e. shy) or I’m very loud and obnoxious....
20 April 2002 @ 8:32 p.m.
Mood: aggravated
Well I figured it like this… If Dan can have one of these, why the hell can’t I?
Age at posting: 13
Today’s commentary: I have absolutely no idea who Dan was. Truly, not a clue.
03 September 2006 @ 11:41 pm
I feel: angry
Listening to: ”She Will be Loved” Maroon 5
What a fuckin asshole. Guys don’t understand anything about anything.
19 June 2004 @ 06:17 pm
On this fateful day of june 2004
our regretted C
has died of boredom.
You are invited to the funeral that will take place tomorrow.
21 April 2004 @ 11:20 am
title: Whatev
feeling:stressed-AAAH work!!
just felt like actually saying sumthin “interesting”… other than saying what i got on weird quizzes on the net;)
Yeah, so the other day i went shoe-shopping with my mom, which is one of the things i hate most. And suddenly i fell on the coolest shoes ever: sum big sort of guy-ish shoes that actually looked good on me and werent...
22 November 2006 @ 11:11 am
I don’t know what it is about me and holding random people’s hands when drunk, but it needs to stop. It’s becoming embarrassing.
I feel: creative
26 March 2004 @ 7:08 p.m.
title: so
listening to: linkin park
I guess at this point in my life, at this exact time, I am sort of content. I’m getting along fine. I don’t have any things that are really bugging me or what not.
I am on my march toward my fate, the infamous SAT, and I hope that I survive. if not, “oh well, I’ll get over it!” « hehe.
22 May 2007 @ 10:54 am
title: On monkey sex and human relations in general.
feeling: weird
listening to: ”Digital Monkey” Balkan Beat Box
So after much discussion last night, L, M and me decided that the world would be a better place if we mimicked the bonobo monkey lifestyle. I’m sure there’s nothing that can’t be solved by massive amounts of sex, especially if you add a little...
23 March 2004 @ 9:52 p.m.
title: “mah crush?!”
current mood: aggravated
I was just browsing through some old entries, saw a private one from Feb. 19 that tallked about “mah crush.” yeah. I put that in quotation marks because he isn’t “mah crush” anymore. sorry :) I think last week he did try talking to me, but when I would respond he thought that I was talking only to the other...
28 February 2004 @ 12:03 a.m.
title: good friends and bad friends
current mood: amused
I keep saying that my current friends and their ways bug me, but I realized that I actually do like them. and why? because they are absolutely nothing like me? I mean, they are nice and smart and perfect and I’m none of the above? ok, I know I don’t have major problems, that my life is pretty boring and sad, that my problmes...
6 February 2005 @ 8:57 p.m.
title: WHY CANT I FORGET YOU?
listening to: “Yesterday” The Beatles
oh god…its been so long he hasnt talked to me and now he does, he tells me that he’s sad because his gf left him…he’s gone over me a long time ago, that’s for sure… and when he asks me why im feeling blue, i tell him its because of a guy… but as he asks on more questions i...
21 November 2004 @ 2:57 p.m.
title: no party after all
naaaaahhhhhhh!!! ive been waitin for a week to find the perfect occasion to ask my mom if i could go to Po’s party. Yesterday night, we were both in the car and she sounded in a pretty good mood so i told her Po was doing a party next saturday for her movin-in.But she said no. I tried the reasonable arguments, i tried the...
16 February 2004 @ 6:30 p.m.
title: anyone?
current mood: annoyed
not even my dog likes me now. i keep calling her, but she just doesn’t want to come and sit here by me. why? what have i ever done to you doggy? fed you? walked you in the dead of winter? given you treats? awwww, i love my dog anyways. and i know she loves me!! hehe, i’m such a dork.
13 April 2004 @ 9:55 p.m.
title: bonjour
OK, so this is my first entry. whatev.
I don’t really know why i’m starting this. I guess i have nothing more to do. I felt like doing as Po (cutsykitty) lol. nevermind. i’ll see if i have anything interesting to say about my life as an anonymous and blah teenager.
15 February 2004 @ 6:53 p.m.
title: cold hands
mah first entry! hmmm, lets see how this is gonna turn out: i’m going to update for a while. maybe a week, maybe even two months. then i’ll get bored = i’ll stop updating. i’ll tell nobody ‘bout this journal and no one will read it :(
aight, i gotta configure this and change the colors and other stuff. hmm, till later